pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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