Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
