Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
