after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
