no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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