I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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