how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
