What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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