sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
