okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
