Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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