i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
