i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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