well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
