Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.