we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard