When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed