All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
