it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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