All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
