Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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