You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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