What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
