Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
