We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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