STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
