Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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