You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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