Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize