oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
