i would punch a child for taco bell
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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