also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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