Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
