I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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