and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
