come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
