I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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