if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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