Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
did you just send me my own nude
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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