hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
