3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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