Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
