I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
