I think I won the penis lottery.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
soo... how was my night?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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