first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect