at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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