After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
