okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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