Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
