I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
did i just pee glitter
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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