this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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