Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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