i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
