I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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