38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize