I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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