I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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