I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
