help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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