Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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