If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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