Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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